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Writer's pictureMel W

PROFILE PARK


As a general rule, there are three types of profiles. LinkedIn, social media, and dating app profiles are all examples of profiles. For the purpose of this article, the focus will be on dating app profiles. A good dating profile should include quality photos, positive points, and variety.

By simply looking at photos alone, you can interpret or misinterpret a dating app profile in a lot of ways. This ‘harmless’ rookie error can almost guarantee a missed match or the dreaded swipe left. Check out how it can be interpreted or misinterpreted by profile viewers. Let's take a slightly humorous walk in the Profile Park. Remember for some tips go to our top five lists.

Do you sit down in every picture?

There is a risk of appearing vertically challenged or even lying about your height on your profile (this is common amongst men) - try and mix it up just a bit. Make sure to include an accurate height in your profile.

Are all the pictures have mess in the background, under the bed, on shelves?

For some profile viewers maybe thinking, 'I bet he’s bloody lazy. Probably never changes his sheets. Definitely leaves dirty plates in the sink without rinsing. Turns his undies inside out to get an extra day’s wear and avoid laundry! Definitely doesn’t manscape yet and expects women to resemble a Sphynx with a thin eyebrow down there'. Harsh but possible. On dating apps, people are the judge, the jury and the executioner of your first impression. If you take mirror selfies check the background.

Are you surrounded by scantily clad women in every photo?

There's a chance this is David (bloody) Copperfield trying to be more hot than Brad Pitt or overcompensating for something else. Consider your audience the type of person you are trying to attract or pics to start a positive healthy online first conversation.

Are you wearing a cap, hat, or beanie in every picture?

A person who may be going bald, hiding baldness, or having bad hair days constantly. Wearing a hat can also be a sign of laziness, as it takes little effort to wear a hat. If you're bald - be bold and let it shine or try to wear different caps if you persist in wearing one or upload less photos.

Are all you pictures at the gym or shirtless with bulging muscles?

Most people assume they will receive an uninvited picture of a woodpecker! Why? 9 times of 10 this type of profiles will randomly strike with the pic more than once. If this is you.... consider changing your approach or use hookup apps. Be honest on your profile about what you are looking for.

Are you hiding your face?

Most would conclude the person is married or is a well-known convicted sex offender! Most likely to call Crime Stoppers or Cheaters than your number. If you're hiding your face my question is, why are you on dating apps?

Are all of your photos blurry?

Blurry photos scream cheap phone, cheap person who takes you to Costco for dinner. If you download the dating app, complete an account... clear photos are the easy part. Check if your friends have any clear photos of you on their camera role or check out their social media as their could be a good pic of you in one of their posts.

Do you only have group pictures and everyone is hot except one?

Ahhh be careful that this is not the boy band theory. The theory is that every boy band needs one guy who attracts fans who can relate to him. Average looking Joe. Also remember you might receive a message asking to meet one of your friends in the photo. Too many group photos become tiresome for the person viewing your profile trying to work out which person is you. Best to put less group pictures as you are less like to match if the person becomes bored or frustrated tryng to find you.

Are you posing on the top of a mountain shirtless or doing an aerial skiing shot or on some insanely fast vessel?

A testosterone fragrance in human form. It screams, ‘I’m so full of testosterone’ fragrance that comes in a deodorant can labelled, ‘Me Tarzan. You Jane’. Some love it, some run and sprint from it. Consider one photo if you must but five can be a bit much.


Are you holding or kissing a fish?

STOP!! Do not upload that photo!! I repeat, STOP!! Do not upload that photo!!



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