Like Christopher Columbus on a discovery voyage, I have found another type of colonization of modern-day manners that seems socially acceptable. Peculiar characteristics such as ignoring someone yet viewing everything they do on social media. Ghosting or being ghosted. Blocking or at worst, being blocked. Is this an outbreak of ill manners or a new pandemic of modern-day (lack of) manners? A newbie to this? Struggling? As sung by Chaka Khan, I feel for you as Ain’t Nobody should do this to you!
Around 2015, Like a Virgin, I was touched for the first time by this behaviour in the colonization of modern-day manners. I was shocked at how normal it is, and that it is barely considered ill-mannered. We can explore or deplore current modern-day manners by looking at the powerhouse women from the 1980s.
Born in 1974 manners were pretty simple. Be sure to say please and thank you. Let the adults talk first. Do not speak about religion, politics or money at events. Don’t boast or be arrogant. Always speak with kindness and be courteous. Be punctual and respect others' time. Always respond to acknowledge the other person. We are now in the 2020s. If someone did all those prehistoric courtesies, they would be Upside Down. Inside out. Round and round the track with Queen Diana Ross.
Simply moving your thumb a few centimetres on your smartphone or clicking on your mouse, a connection can be made or terminated. If it’s a good connection you might have a sweatband around your uber-big hair and a pair of knitted leg warmers singing Irene Cara’s What a Feeling! However, if the connection is unexpectedly terminated like toilet paper supplies at the shops when a lockdown is announced, it's as Nasty as Janet Jackson’s 1980s anthem.
Social media, dating apps and e-commerce have made people accessible. Consistent with the Law of Polarity, this also means people are now just as disposable.
People friend then unfriend. Potential lovebirds match then unmatch. Fans follow then unfollow. Members subscribe then unsubscribe. You can even send or un-send messages!
No wonder people turn to Alison Moyet All Cried Out after feeling Invisible.
Social courtesies and standards are disposable like cheap latex powderless gloves. There will be times you want to Turn Back Time with Cher gyrating a cannon on a navy ship. She is wearing a G-string onesie with a tattoo on each cheek.
There's a well established STD known as the Socially Transmitted Debacle. This highly contagious STD has three socially destructive variants: CONSCIOUSLY IGNORING, GHOSTING and BLOCKING. It’s time to Get into the Grove with Madonna’s Desperately Seeking Susan netted outfit. We'll dry our armpits over a hand dryer and look further.
Looking for love? When Whitney sang, How will I know if he really loves me? Newsflash on your love stash – You will not be consciously ignored, ghosted or blocked. That’s how you will know if they really like you! Otherwise you’ll witness their True Colours shining through.
CONSCIOUSLY IGNORING
Instant gratification describes online interactions. From chain mails to anti-vaxxer links to heavily discounted air fryer voucher codes, people are sending and receiving content instantly, whether it's wanted or unwanted. It doesn't matter what it is, people expect a response. Having so much accessibility from your home to someone else’s tests people’s Self Control, just ask Laura Brannigan!
You are being consciously ignored when you can see they have received and opened your message on whatever platform from Messenger to Instagram to WhatsApp. As a viewer, their name pops up on your stories. They like a post here and there on your social media. Yet it’s tumbleweed when you send a message.
Regardless of whether the person walked to the post box to send the letter or only hit a send button, the person sending expects acknowledgement from the intended recipient. When this doesn’t happen, the sender is left frustrated looking to Stevie Nicks to Stand Back for a little sympathy and ready to set Rooms on Fire.
GHOST
The STD’s most widely spread variant. If you’re being ghosted it means the ghoster is not opening your messages or taking your calls. The ghoster has mysteriously disappeared and there is no engagement. This could be for many reasons.
Perhaps the ghoster is not comfortable raising the issue, got bored and moved on, or is socially stunted. The ghoster could be keeping their options open and will return when Option B sinks like a soufflé. In this case, the ghoster is thinking What’s Love Got to Do With It. We Don't Need Another Hero, which is why the ghostee should leave Thunderdome.
Be warned, if you reunite with a ghoster, you might find yourself having a choreographed dance off in a bar with Pat Benatar singing Love is a Battlefield. Even worse, snarling in your full back leather with Joan Jett I Hate Myself for Loving You. Ghosting is cruel. There is no closure or reason given for the ghostee's rejection. If you’ve been ghosted, there is a chance you have drunkenly performed Totally Eclipse of The Heart at Karaoke with Bonnie,
BLOCKING
The person says, I never want to hear from you again, or they got back with an ex and can’t risk you spoiling their chances. This means that the blocker wants to convey to the blocked that you are no longer their Venus, fire, or desire. You are also telling them they are angry with you, or they are telling you they are angry with them.
If you have been blocked no doubt the tears rolling down your eyes were in tune with the fabulous Ms Lennox’s Here Comes the Rain Again. By the way, Sweet Dreams are definitely not made of this! Being so accessible has consequences. They asked a person to stop contacting them. The person persisted. They felt their only option was to block the person.
GATEKEEPERS
The problem with this new STD variant is the gate keepers’ handover between old school social manners with new school online social manners was almost non-existent possibly due to the speed of technology with literally everything available at your fingertips means everyone is Running Up That Hill with Kate Bush to stay connected or disconnected.
On that note, you should be singing I Should Be So Lucky with Kylie if you have survived all three variants of this latest STD pandemic. Stay strong and remember, how they treat you is how they feel about you. What you accept is more about your relationship you have with yourself. Lesson: Move onward and upwards... FAST
Comments